Christmas Eve

Well, it is our first Christmas Eve in Oklahoma.  I'm not sure what I expected.  I guess I didn't spead a lot of time thinking about it.  Maybe, I just thought it would all somehow work itself out. 

Jon did a good job trying to keep things "jolly".  Adam is still struggling with begin in Oklahoma.  He insists that he hates me.  This is a daily thing.  It is a good thing that I'm secure in myself.  Otherwise, suicide would be an option.

Alyssa just seems to enjoy everything. 

It was actually a pretty quiet evening, a bit surreal, a bit melancholy. 

So, what is Christmas anyway?  I guess its hard for me to define what "home" is.  Maybe because we moved around a bit while I was growing up.  With each new location, there was a new Christmas to celebrate.  Maybe it became a part of who I am.  Maybe I need to move to keep life interesting.  I think Christmas needs to be in our hearts.  Does it really matter where we are or who we're with?  I think not.  The reality of life doesn't always look like a Hallmark movie.  Maybe it isn't predictable.

What is family?  My kids don't even know what Christmas is like from my families perspective.  And, they won't get a good picture of that tomorrow either.  I hope they can get past themselves and try to embrace where and what they are.

I miss Jeremy and Alex.  It was good talking to Jeremy.  From what I understand, they have been forced to do a little growing up.

Christmas tomorrow...